Navigating Loss on a Journey Toward Hope

Thanks to Hannah, Lauren, and the team at Kindred + Co. for allowing me to share part of my story with their community. Here's what I wrote. _________________________ It was 2008, “Are you adopted? I’m going on air to find my birth-mom. They’ll show my video in Korea during commercials, I hope she sees it.” I was in my mid-twenties, taken...[ read more ]

Why do we need Pre-vengers?

“But that’s what we do, right? Our best work after the fact? We’re the Avengers? Not the Prevengers, right?” -Tony Stark (Endgame) My heart is moved and goes out to anyone holding a question like this today. I’m also pulled in by the timeless ambiguity of it. It came from a person navigating their adoption journey. Yet, any one of...[ read more ]

What Could a Red Balloon Teach Us About Trauma?

I parked in front of a grocery store this past weekend to pick up my spouse as she was coming out. A guy pulled up next to me, rolled down his window, and started honking his horn (solid 20 second honk with no break). Shouting profanities that everyone in the parking lot could hear. He finally drove away after a...[ read more ]

How did it feel to be back in Korea?

“Korea sings to me at night.”🇰🇷🎙💕 I recently heard a question, “Who does a picture belong to?” The subject? The viewer? The one taking the photo? My first trip back to Korea I asked, “Who belongs in the picture?” When I return to this scene, walking and marveling my way through the neon streets of Seoul at night - a...[ read more ]

Have You Ever Loved a Stranger?

The original anonymous question in the featured picture was posed to an adult adoptee panel by a child who was adopted. Here's my personal answer: I’d been thinking about my birth parents for years. Decades. I romanticized the whole thing. Like, I knew that when we’d finally meet we’d have this visceral connection; there’d be some intangible shift or even...[ read more ]

“Are You Thankful” for Ambiguous Loss?

Last week as a panelist for @angieadoptee I had the privilege of listening to a room full of pre- and adoptive parents share their concerns and hopes, questions and wonders about the complexities of adoption. A few of those questions continue to linger for me; one of them, “Are you thankful?” Let’s pause for a moment... have you ever thought about...[ read more ]

How many times does a person need to encounter racism before it works?

I was lying back in the dentist chair recently, a new friend wrenching on my gums with what felt like barbed wire sliding between each of my teeth. But he was wearing scrubs and latex gloves, so I trust he knows what's up. It's not a problem I start tasting blood. He's like, "You ok?" "Ung... ah ghhh ghhh." "Don't...[ read more ]

What Can We Learn from Our Elders?

We had the privilege of spending some extended time with my wife’s grandparents this past week. They’ve been married for over six decades. Throughout the years, I’ve learned to appreciate my elders more and more; so much inspiration and wisdom tucked away in their hearts like hidden treasure. There’s also unfathomable pain and hardship. Some fears and wounds have been...[ read more ]

Starter Kit for Group Discussion: “Approved for Adoption”

Wow this story. Check out the full review at Here's me "pre-approved" for adoption (those yellow pants!): Much of Approved for Adoption resonated with me. And it helped me think about what I'd want the next generation of adoptees, and their parents, to know. [caption id="attachment_428" align="aligncenter" width="277"][/caption] I'm so thrilled to inspire relevant conversations and fresh insight within...[ read more ]

The Pace of Suffering: a Netflix Original?

Dear adoptee, I had just finished facilitating a Q&A session, adult adoptees on the panel and adoptive parents asking questions. Summertime, late afternoon. It's a crowded area and people are standing up to stretch, gather their belongings and head out to gather their children. It's hot. Been a long week. An adoptive dad walked up to me, "You know, I...[ read more ]

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